Mark Sanford, World Class Genius

This shouldn't need any setup. Guy cheats on wife, comes up with priceless quotes. Let us take a look at what he really meant.

• "This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story," Sanford said. "A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day." What Sanford Meant: "The chick is from South America! How hot is that? And, she slept with me, a married white cracker from South Carolina. Come on, that's hot stuff!! Stuff dreams are made of!"
• During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife. WSM: "Chapur is by far the hottest woman in my life. Damn, man!! As far as my ex-wife, I mean wife, I hope she doesn't cut off the little governor in the middle of the night."
• Sanford said Tuesday that he "crossed lines" with a handful of women other than his mistress—but never had sex with them. WSM: "I'm a player, yo. Sex, nope. Other stuff, you know it. The man can play."
  
• He said that during the encounters with other women he "let his guard down" with some physical contact but "didn't cross the sex line." He wouldn't go into detail. WSM: "If you need details, watch HBO and figure it out. I got my needs met. Boy, did I ever get my needs met!"
• [T]he casual encounters happened outside the U.S. while he was married but before he met Chapur, on trips to "blow off steam" with male friends. WSM: "It wasn't gay, or anything like that. Just guys experimenting, ya know? Once you leave the U.S. border, there's so much more stuff that's legal. I always wondered why Michael Jackson didn't move outside the country. Not that I like boys."
  

Manny is Back - Sorta

Well, everybody's favorite guy out in left field, Manny, is back on a baseball field. So, let's take a look at what he said and what he really meant.

• When asked about steroids, "I don't want to talk about that," Ramirez told the AP. "I'm not talking about it anymore. I already said what I'm going to say." What Manny Meant: "I don't know what you're talking about. That was, like, a long time ago and I don't even remember what I had for lunch."
  
• "I'm here to do my rehab, you know ... get a couple at-bats and get back to the big league team." WMM: "My summer break is almost over! I'm so happy!"
• "Get a feel for my legs, how my legs are going to respond." WMM: "I like butterflies."
• "I haven't played like in 50 days, but I'm going to catch up slowly, day by day." WMM: That's actually what he meant.
  

Ed Schultz is Amazing

Big Ed is fast becoming a source so bountiful that an entire blog could be dedicated to dissecting his "brilliance". Anyway, here's the latest from a recent appearance on Morning Joe.

• When asked if he actually thought that Dick Cheney wants Americans to die for political gain, he responded thusly: "Absolutely. Absolutely." What Big Ed Meant: "Yes I believe it! Dick Cheney is plotting to kill them himself if he has to. He and Osama are ready to execute their second 9/11 attack very soon. I hate him!!"
• "I'm telling you what I think; I'm telling you what I believe. I got a lot of support when I said that on the Ed program, I got a lot of support overnight when I said it again." WBEM: "I owe all I am to my kook fringe fan-base. Both of my fans texted me and told me they thought it was a brilliant thing for me to say. The weasel in my pants, was indifferent, though."
• "I really believe, because I think it's all about the conservatives grabbing the power and keeping it. These folks hate. Just my opinion. I mean, I don't want to offend anybody." WBEM: "I'm just a nobody from North Dakota and I really don't know what I'm saying. The weasel in my pants tells me what to say."