Mark Sanford, World Class Genius

This shouldn't need any setup. Guy cheats on wife, comes up with priceless quotes. Let us take a look at what he really meant.

• "This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story," Sanford said. "A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day." What Sanford Meant: "The chick is from South America! How hot is that? And, she slept with me, a married white cracker from South Carolina. Come on, that's hot stuff!! Stuff dreams are made of!"
• During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife. WSM: "Chapur is by far the hottest woman in my life. Damn, man!! As far as my ex-wife, I mean wife, I hope she doesn't cut off the little governor in the middle of the night."
• Sanford said Tuesday that he "crossed lines" with a handful of women other than his mistress—but never had sex with them. WSM: "I'm a player, yo. Sex, nope. Other stuff, you know it. The man can play."
  
• He said that during the encounters with other women he "let his guard down" with some physical contact but "didn't cross the sex line." He wouldn't go into detail. WSM: "If you need details, watch HBO and figure it out. I got my needs met. Boy, did I ever get my needs met!"
• [T]he casual encounters happened outside the U.S. while he was married but before he met Chapur, on trips to "blow off steam" with male friends. WSM: "It wasn't gay, or anything like that. Just guys experimenting, ya know? Once you leave the U.S. border, there's so much more stuff that's legal. I always wondered why Michael Jackson didn't move outside the country. Not that I like boys."