Manny Blames His Doctor

Mr. Ramirez finally spoke. Well, not really. It was a statement released by the players union. We all know Manny didn't write this and he probably didn't participate in the writing. But, let's assume that he did, because that makes this blog funny.

• "Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue." What Manny Meant: "I like baseball."
• "He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me." WMM: "My doctor is super smart."
• "Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility." WMM: "It's not my fault, is it?"
• "I have been advised not to say anything more for now." WMM: "I've never been allowed to talk, so why are you surprised now?"
• "I do want to say one other thing; I've taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons." WMM: "Can I go now? I have to get ready for a game."
• "I want to apologize to Mr. McCourt, Mrs. McCourt, Mr. Torre, my teammates, the Dodger organization, and to the Dodger fans. LA is a special place to me and I know everybody is disappointed. So am I. I'm sorry about this whole situation. " WMM: "What? I'm on summer break? Sweet! For how long? How long is 50 games?"